Nice Lies


An old woman got on a train and all seats were full. An old man got up and asked her to sit down. She refused at first, but the man finally convinced her by saying "Bineceğim" -I'm going to get off. When the train reached the next stop, he didn't get off.

It was then I thought, "This old man lied. A nice lie, but a lie nonetheless".

He did get off at the stop after that. But it did make me consider: Are nice lies good?

Nice lies aren't necessarily lies by their wording alone. To elaborate, this old man did get off, so he didn't exactly lie. However, in a context where everyone would leave the train at some point, he implied he would be getting off so soon such that a seat was unnecessary for him. Thus, nice lies can be implicit while the explicit wording is true.

Furthermore, nice lies must aim to help or please someone else. For example, if a socially weak person is wrongly accused, a more respected individual may take the blame to prevent the former from excessive abuse.

That's in the public sphere, with strangers. These nice lies don't really matter, since they're taken as public courtesy in the end. What about with those close to you?

Were not hungry, so eat, say the poor parents to their child. I'm all right, says the recently-laidoff son to their parents. You'll be okay, says a friend to another in the ICU.

Are these nice lies really okay? Should they be discouraged? Or even supported?

Well, to tell nice lies is a sign of good intention. The issue lies in the lying part: to some people it's quite all right, while to others it's a sacred line. However, unlike malevolent lying, there's a strong appeal to conscience from both nice lying and not. Thus, most people will understand nice lies. Perhaps not agree, but accept. With that being said, let this stance be individually decided.

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